Saturday, January 8, 2011

The Grand Theft Auto Rant

WARNING: Contains nostalagia, unfounded claims, hyperbole, over-opinionated ranting and strong language. Rockstar Games does not support, encourage nor condone the activities contained within.

I don't know about you, but I clearly remember the very first time I picked up a Grand Theft Auto game. In my case, this game was San Andreas on the PS2. Thus began an endless quest for completion through one of the most fun and rewarding games I have played to this day. And what mde it so fun? It was unlike anything I'd ever experienced. The world was yours, a massive sprawling world filled with life an colour and just limitless stuff to do. The story was incredible, insane and never once took itself seriously. You were CJ, an ex-con, runaway who returns to his home city of Los Santos (medeled brilliantly after LA) after his "moms" is, um, put down. And what starts out as a simple goal to reunite your family and reclaim your 'hood soon leads to a madcap adventure filled with daring casino robberies, secret army base break ins, weed burning, skydiving, and just about every other bit of insanity you could think of. And though I never made it all the way to the end, I still feel bad about not completing the game and recently purchased the PC version to try again. Oh and did I mention it has Samuel "Motherfucking" Jackson? and James Woods? Seriously, every moment spent with Woods' Torino is gaming gold. It will never be beaten. Also, Peter Fonda's drugged out conspiracy freak the Truth is epic, too. Oh hell, it's all epic. Wu Zi, the blind leader of the chinatown gang who drives like a sun of a bitch, OG Loc, the failed gangsta rapper who can't catch a break. I could go on, but I digress...

San Andreas lead to Vice City, which nearly beat San Andreas with it's brilliant cast of characters and incredible story and location. And GTA3, which I never really got into.

Anyway, all this leads up to my recent purchase of GTAIV. After hearing so much hype about the game, the perfect 10s, blah blah blah I figured this just might be the game to knock SA of it's pedastal. And from the moment I picked it up, I really had my hopes up. The story was so interesting and unique, the game looked and ran incredibly, the new cover system was interesting and the characters were really well developed. And then the tedium began. The never ending sameness of the missions. Get a car, drive here, kill some guy, leave. Go to start a mission, something goes wrong, kill some guys, escape the cops, leave. Go somewhere, kill heaps of guys, escape from the cops, leave. It never ended. The only thing keeping it mildly worth playing were the characters and story, especially Niko's plight. You couldn't help but care. But then, the greatest tragedy of all, the story vanished. All of a sudden, for hours upon hours of samey quests, there was no story. It was just, go to this guy, get a mission, with no reward but some money which you always have an infinite supply of because there's so little to buy. And then you realise that the city, for all it's size and glamour, is empty. Looking at the map that came with my package I saw a few icons spread out across a huge sea of nothingness. I felt betrayed. So after a hard a few more hours of boredom, I gave up and packed it away.

However, on a whim I put in The Ballad of Gay Tony and discovered everything I've been missing, so I'm hoping, oh god am I hoping, that this is not a tease and that I can soon have a review stripping SA of it's hard earned crown. If anyone has played this game, or disagrees with me, please, leave your comments either here or on my soon to be uploaded rant video at youtube.com/youreviewau.

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