Thursday, August 23, 2012

Star Fox 64

I'm so tempted to just leave this an empty article. Surely the title says enough. Surely we all know this by now. Still, I feel this needs to be said, at least by me.

STAR FOX 64 IS THE GREATEST SPACE SIMULATOR EVER!

I'm serious. Forget Rogue Squadron, forget all the Star Wars games. This is where it's at.

DO A BARREL ROLL!

This game, man, this game...I don't think my child like mind fully comprehended just what the fuck I was experiencing. The graphics, the level design, the characters, those bosses...

I honestly can't think of many games with the sheer depth and replayability that Star Fox 64 had. We didn't even have internet in our house when I had this game. I remember replaying the game for the umpteenth time and suddenly discovering there was a whole other boss on the first level that took you on a whole other path. Fuck Ocarina Of Time, this is where it's at.

DO A BARREL ROLL!

Even today, everything about this game feels right. The controls are sublime, the level design is perfect, the challenge is monstrous but always manageable. The voice acting is brilliant, the dialogue is funny and quotable and the characters are just so memorable. I could literally quote most of this game line for line, not just

DO A BARREL ROLL!

I've got to be honest, I still have never defeated Andross. I just can't do it. He fucks me up. But I happily blaze my trail to him, driven on by an ever burning desire to kick his weird floating head arse

thing

That level seriously freaked me the fuck out as a kid. I mean, you had some weird shit before then; fire levels, underwater levels, Slippy (boom-tish!) but from the moment Fox says 'I'll go this alone', shit just gets fucked up. You dive headfirst into this trippy LSD tunnel, only to be greeted by a giant floating head with enormous hands that proceeds to decimate you in about three seconds. I know now the whole floating head thing is a throwback to older games, but back then my young mind couldn't handle that shit. I had nightmares, horrible, horrible nightmares.

You're becoming more like your father every day.

I love Rogue Squadron, and to be totally honest I find it hard to place this game above it, but I truly believe that not only as a game, but as an experience, Star Fox 64 is unrivaled. Even today, it stands up. Sure, the graphics might be a little funny, but everything else is still unparalleled. Not to mention they just remade it for 3DS, so there is no reason for there to be anyone alive who hasn't played this game. Now if you'll excuse me I have to

go make dinner.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Resident Evil Retrospective: Resident Evil 5 (PC)

I'm going to keep this one brief, as I feel I've already wasted enough of my life on this. For those who don't want to waste time with the review, here's my succinct and honest opinion. Do not buy this game. Do not rent it. Don't even borrow it from a friend. There may be some fun to have playing with a friend online, but there are a tonne of better co-op games out there. Borderlands, for example.

Still here? Ok, let's get this out of the way.

So Leon is back in the states, annoying President's daughter in tow, and the worst seems to be over. Umbrella is finished, Las Plagas is all but destroyed and Ada and Wesker have vanished into the sunset. Enter the BSAA, a corporation founded by the remaining Pharmaceutical companies in an effort to salvage there image as "Not Umbrella". Chris Redfield, stalwart hero of Resident Evil 1 and Code Veronica, is back with bigger muscles, a new beard and a new partner. It seems Jill went an kamikazeed Wesker out a window and now Chris is feeling bitter and disillusioned with the world. Why he didn't celebrate her surprisingly apt departure I'll never know (The joke here being that she is a massive "wet fish", for those who aren't following me and my intense dislike of her character. Just wait till my REmake review). Anyway, Chris finds himself in a nondescript African nation, with Sheba, his new partner, who is neither a wet fish, nor annoying (at least as a character). In fact, she definitely ranks up with the Claire's and Ada's. Not quite as well rounded and intriguing, but still well written and acted. So there's another Las Plagas outbreak or something, Wesker on some doomsday device, the pharmaceutical companies are secretly evil and the whole gig is just a cover operation. Stop me if you've worked out where this is going. Oh, and Jill's still alive. Yay. Though weirdly she magically turns into not only a bad-ass, but an interesting character. Go figure. She took the Gandalf route and came back as Jill the White; older, wiser, less wet. And strapped into a hot jumpsuit, just cause they hadn't squeezed enough sex appeal out of her tight body yet. Sarcasm aside, the characters are all well written in this game. The story, though cliche and terrible, is well written, acted (especially for a Resident Evil game) and is paced very well. Wesker is my favourite villain and it's nice to see him get a whole game to himself. His relationship with Chris is explored a lot more thoroughly than previous games, as well, which is nice. The music is good, too, easily on par with Resident Evil 4, but now even more cinematic and dynamic. This is also a very good looking game. Character models look great, the environments are detailed and varied, and the lighting effects are very nice. The game utilizes Direct X 10 very well and easily competes with more recent titles.

Right, that's all the good out of the way. Let's get on with the bad.

Remember Resident Evil 4? Ok, good, welcome to Resident Evil 4.1. You're fighting 90% of the same enemies (I'm not even joking, there's maybe 2 'new' enemies, and they're both pinched from earlier games), the controls are exactly the same, and it's a permanent escort mission. Yes, your partner can technically look after themselves better, but that doesn't mean they actually will. Oh, and you're back to 9 inventory spaces a piece and for some stupid reason the game doesn't pause while you access it, leaving you desperately pressing buttons like an idiot trying to pick a new gun while a massive enemies rapes your face with a chainsaw. Still, these controls worked for the most part in Resident Evil 4, because the game was built around them. They design the over-the-shoulder control system from the ground up to work with that game, a slower paced survival-horror game with an action feel. Tank controls do not work in a straight third person shooter. Which is what Resident Evil 5 is. And a pretty stock standard one at that. They try to mix things up with ranged and melee enemies, but the cover system is terrible and a lot of enemies can stunlock you, allowing the other enemies to shoot you to shit. Still, this would all be bearable if only the partner AI wasn't an insult. Resident Evil 0 this is not, you have basically no control over Sheba, other than to call her to you and set her routine to cover (which means only shoot at things attacking her and stay close to you) or attack (which means shoot everything all the time and waste all the items you give her). She spends the rest of her time getting killed, wasting all your ammo and healing items and generally just standing around shooting the wall or something. It makes the singleplayer campaign all but unplayable. I had to play on Easy just to make the enemies stupid enough that they at least kind of matched the partner AI level. This game is specifically designed to be played by two people, there's just too many enemies to tackle alone. Also, back to the controls for a bit, but not being able to move while shooting does not work in this type of game, especially when all of the enemies dart around like they're on caffeine. Especially the bosses. Stop to take a shot or two and they'll warp straight up to you and fuck you up. Also, the game is completely filled with almost broken quicktime events. By the time the button has flashed on screen, it's already too late. This wouldn't be so bad if 9/10 of them didn't result in instant death and a bump back to the last checkpoint. This happens a lot in boss fights, too. The Wesker fights are plagued by these. All of the boss fights in general are terrible. Fighting Wesker should be fun and exciting, but instead devolves into him repeating the same three moves while you desperately try to initiate the one context sensitive action that kills him, which requires you and your partner to work together. In fact, the last fight with him is so awful it's nearly broken. I'll be honest, I haven't gotten past it and I'm not going to. The only solution I can see is jumping back to the start of the chapter and trying to stockpile ammo (the last chapter throws more enemies and mini-bosses at you than the entire game combined, mind you, and I have 6 bullets left thanks to a terrible checkpoint system that saves your equipment from the last save, not from where you start the game from).

This is the first time in my reviewing career that I've given up on a game. Honestly, I tried. I've restarted this game 3 times. I've played through all the way from the start with different co-op partners, I've played it singleplayer. I've dropped the difficulty to Easy, but I'm tired of wasting my time. This game is not fun, it's not interesting and it's badly designed. Resident Evil 5 is not a bad Resident Evil game, it's just a bad game. It's plagued by bad game choices, broken partner AI, counter-intuitive controls and an uninteresting story. Only die-hard fans should consider playing this, and even then I'd recommend finding a way to not spend any money on it. I got it for $5 and I still feel ripped off. I cannot recommend strongly enough that you don't waste your time on this game.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Slender - Survival Horror Done Right

Now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout. All I can say, honestly, is thank God for the internet, because every now and then, something rises from the pools of porn and, at least in Slender's case, scares the living shit balls out of you.

I didn't know much at all about Slender going into it. A random link on the internet promised scares, and that did it for me. I had no idea who, or what, the Slenderman was or just what this game had in store for me. Taking the advice of the poster, I skipped the readme and jumped straight in.

Collect the pages.

A nice, simple objective, I think, recalling my experiences with the convoluted puzzles of Silent Hill and Resident Evil. I'm in a forest, rendered very nicely, and very densely, with the Unity engine. some mucking around leads me to discover I also have a flashlight, the ability to run faster, and I'm a girl. How do I know I'm a girl? The game is first-person and the protagonist is silent, I cloud be anyone. True, but the panting that issues after you run is unmistakably female. This is just the first of Slender's many clever nods and winks to classic horror movies. Exploring the forest reveals it's massive size. There's no map, no real sense of direction either. The occasional landmark is your only way point, but they are few and far between. It's just trees, and more trees. Finally, I stumbled on to a house and carefully creep inside. The fine white tiles remind me of a public washroom, but it's been long abandoned and moss and fungus overrun the walls. There's no pages here, so on I continue.

It's maybe three or four minutes until I stumble onto my first page, stuck up against a rock formation. DON'T LOOK, OR HE TAKES YOU. The chilling message is scrawled in a child's hand and accompanied by some hurried pictures. My mind instantly springs back to Blair Witch Project, and my heart races. I grab the page.

Boom.

A deep, pulsating sound, repeating over and over. Something has awoken. I turn, and catch a glimpse of a silhouette in the trees, so close. Blindly, I run, flashlight swinging wildly. Now, the level design really shines. With no sense of direction, you find yourself madly running in circles, desperately searching for any kind of landmark. The fear is real, there is no escape. You feel claustrophobic, even in the massive space. 5 pages later, and no sign of the silhouette since the first page. Still, the thrumming comes and goes, the deep vibrations shaking through my body. The music is picking up now, from a subtle whine ton a quietly intense theme. I can't shake this feeling that he's somewhere close by. A wrecked car and shack greet me ahead, as well as the telltale shine of a page. So close to my goal now, I rush behind the car and grab it. Confident, I step back around the car, straight into the Slenderman. The screen fills with static, I should have run but fear has rooted me to the spot. Also, the shock caused me to jump, which sent my mouse flying and I'm now helpless as he devours my soul.

HE'S ALWAYS WATCHING.

It's amazing watching others play this game, just to see how truly divergent the gameplay is. Some playthroughs last tens of minutes, some barely make it to five. I've yet to see anyone get all the pages, yet. Their locations are randomized, too, so there's no sense of familiarity. Slender is a pure experience. It's wholly focused on scaring you shitless. Like Amnesia, you are completely helpless against your foes, your only hope is to run. And run you will, endlessly pursued by something beyond your understanding. This is why Slender is scary, every time. The chase is not linear, or scripted. The Slenderman can come from anywhere and relentlessly pursues you. But he is still bound by rules, seeing him is not instant death and he can only move in a straight line. There is always a hope of escape, but not of ending the pursuit. Not until you completely your goal. Every aspect of this game is designed around making you feel afraid. Best of all, it's completely free and a tiny download. So crank up the sound, put your headphones on and turn off the light. Just remember, DON'T LOOK, OR HE TAKES YOU.

Prototype 2 Review (PC Version)

The first Prototype game is one I share a passionate love/hate relationship with. It was simultaneously the most frustrating, and the most crazy fun game I've ever played. It was a game that gave you the most insane superpowers, but then seemed to revel in finding more and more ways to take them away from you. Now the sequel is here promising a fix to all the first game's problems. Does it deliver on that promise? In the words of Sergeant Heller: "Hell fucking yes!"

Right from the word go, you can tell Radical is really trying for something different with this game. The opening shows Alex Mercer, the anti-hero protagonist of the first, now fully cast in the antagonist role. Taking his place as protagonist is Sergeant James Heller, a loving father who returns home from the war to find his family murdered by Mercer's virus. Filled with a fury to rival Kratos's, he sets out to hunt down Mercer. After a really cool opening level, you come face to face with him, only to have Mercer infect you and send you out to do his bidding. Throughout the game, Heller will discover a web of deceit and lies, and eventually discover just what Mercer has planned for the world, and Heller himself. The story is stronger this time around, helped by better writing, stronger and much more likable characters, and great pacing. Potty mouth aside, Heller is a sympathetic protagonist, mostly because this time around Radical never try to paint him as a troubled hero. Like Kratos, Heller is driven only by pure rage, and God help anyone who gets in his way. His ensemble cast is strong, too, often in surprising places. Sabrina Galloway provides an interesting femme fatale role as Heller's contact within Blackwatch, and Father Guera presents a welcome humanity that tethers Heller to reality. A returning character from the first game was also a stand out for me, though they were also a stand out in the original. The writing is wonderfully over-the-top at times, especially the dialogue from the various Blackwatch soldiers and Gentek scientists. "Shut your fucking fuck hole, you fucking geek!" one perturbed commando shouts at a whining scientist, while 4 Gentek VIPs brag about a project to sterilize the lower classes and ethnics. This over-the-top villainy just makes it all the more satisfying when the get their bloody comeuppance. And God, is it bloody. This game could be one of the goriest, bloodiest and grossest games I've seen in some time. Limbs are severed, people are swallowed alive, the infected are twisted and mutated in horrific ways. It's truly a beautiful sight to behold.

And the game itself is beautiful. The graphics might not be cutting edge, but on the PC at least it still looks good. The city shines and sparkles, while night scenes are often accompanied by rainfall and moody lighting. The city looks amazing, and is varied as well; with three distinct zones. The Green Zone is all but free of infection, the Yellow Zone is under quarantine, and then the Red Zone, which has almost been entirely swallowed by the virus. This could be the best version of New York since Spider-man 2. The city feels alive, bustling with sound and sights, and helped by a much improved draw distance since the original. Aesthetically, Prototype 2 is very pleasing, too. The infections manifests in bright reds, reflections in the water and glass dance and sparkle, and the cinematics are rendered in a gorgeous black, white and red style. There's actually a very noir feel, not just to the visuals, but the story and character design as well. And I love noir. Some of the animations look a bit dated, ripped straight from the original, but for the most part the characters move beautifully. The scale of destruction has a lot of weight, with massive explosions and Heller's every step ripping up the environment.

It's the gameplay, though, that is improved so much over the original. Everything that the original hinted at is perfectly realized in the sequel. You see, the virus allows Heller to change his very body. This can be used in combat, with five different weapons at his disposal, or in stealth, by taking on the form of various people you consume. There's a much bigger focus on the powers this time around, with missions specifically designed to encourage greater use of your powers. There's also a surprisingly deep upgrade system. XP will level up Heller, allowing him to increase his attributes, while completing side missions and finding collectibles will net you Mutations, which are like perks. These are locked in once you've chosen them, lending a bit of weight to these decisions as the available mutation points are very rare. On top of that, specific consumable enemies will upgrade your powers and abilities. Combat is much more simplified and streamlined this time, and so much better for it. Two of your powers can be mapped to the X and Y buttons at any time, and they can be swapped out on the fly. A dodges and jumps, and B grabs. And that's all there is too it. Radical has managed to strike a balance between making you feel powerful, but still challenging you. Gone are the random huge difficulty spikes of the first game, as well as the awful boss fights. The boss fights this time around are really well designed, especially the final one, which requires you to rapidly adapt your fighting style and cycle through all your abilities. Completing the game unlocks a new game + mode, as well as the insane difficulty, which I'm currently playing through on. The gameplay still holds up, more than 20 hours in I'm still having a blast with it, which is more than I can say for the original. I keep finding more and more stuff to muck around with, and there's still a ton of collectibles, side missions and leveling up to do.

It's a shame that Radical is no more, because Prototype 2 is really the pinnacle of their vision. Building on what started with the Hulk game, they really went out on a high. I should also mention that the voice acting is of a much better quality this time around, too. For anyone looking for a great action game, I can't recommend Prototype 2 enough. I have heard some people complaining of issues with the PC version, but I've experienced not a single problem in my 20+ hours. Also, I played with an Xbox Controller, just because I don't like to play action games with mouse and keyboard, so I don't know what the mouse and keyboard support is like, but honestly, Xbox controllers are so cheap now I'd be surprised if there were still people who didn't have one. This game is badass, it's crazy fun, and it's my favourite action game of this year. I cannot recommend it enough.