Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Lollipop Chainsaw Review

Oh, Mickey, what a pity you don't understand
You take me by the heart when you take me by the hand


Sorry, there's no way I'm ever getting that out of my head, so now it's in yours. You're welcome.

So, here we are again. Another year, another explosion of madness from the one they call Suda51 and Grasshopper Manufacture. Armed with a cornucopia of cult hits, including Killer 7, No More Heroes and Shadows of the Damned, Suda has made a name for himself for providing bizarre and totally unique gaming experiences. Flawed,, frustrating, titillating and completely mad gaming experiences. Despite owning both NMH and Shadows, this is the first Suda game I've made it all the way through. This is probably because it's short. Not as short as Juliet's skirt, sure, but if that thing was any shorter it'd be a belt. You're looking at about 5 to 6 hours on normal difficulty for this one, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Speaking of heads, Lollipop has a thing for decapitation. Want to get the most points and medals? Decapitate at least three zombies at once. How do you play basketball with zombies? Decapitation, straight into the net. Oh, and her boyfriend Nick has found himself ahead in life, too. Literally. Decapitated by his frankly insane girlfriend in a weird magical ritual to stop him becoming a zombie. Bummer. Still, it doesn't stop Nick from talking, which is good, as nearly every line from his torso-less mouth is comedy gold and a lot of the laughs in game come from him. The rest are split up between Juliet and her batshit family, consisting of her ditzy mother, horny father, manly elder sister and off-the-wall insane younger sister. I feel I should warn you, Juliet is probably going to annoy most gamers. Whether or not you enjoy her is going to depend on how funny you find blond bimbo, airhead cheerleaders. Personally, I found her quite amusing and never annoying, but her comedy works best when offset by Nick's disarming, dry straight guy routine. Had she not had him there to compliment her, a lot of the humour in this game would fall flat. He is the Abbott to her Costello, and both Suda and James Gunn (credited as Creative Consultant and Adaption, whatever the hell that means, but his influence is undeniable) understand this relationship. Also handled well are the zombies themselves, from the off-colour one liners from the general horde, to special quips for special zombies, all the way to the Rock God Dark Purveyors, each one more mad and over the top than the next. From a punk rocker that literally shouts words at you, to a psychadelic zombie who trips you for a whole level, and a final boss I'd be criminally liable if I spoilt.

But games aren't all story. There's the graphics, too. Lollipop goes for the ever reliable Unreal 3, the workhorse of the games industry. Sure, it brings it's old friends screen tearing, shit draw distance and the worse pop-in since your gran was last in town, but Suda gives everything a nice cell shaded look, and works in more than enough colour and variation to keep things from falling into the usual dirt and grime. Also, zombie explode in sparkles and rainbows, shoot out Gold and Platinum medals and activating super mode makes you go all Mario rainbow magic. And unleashes Hey Mickey upon the world once more. Thanks, Suda.

The soundtrack is delicious, too. From perky cheer tracks, to death metal, and everything in between, each stages soundtrack is based around whatever musician its end boss is. However, completing a stage lets you mix and match its music for later stages, with more music available for purchase, so you can create your own BGM. Jimmy Urine, of Mindless Self Indulgence fame (they so totally don't sound gay, according to Juliet's little sister), handles the soundtrack this time around, with Akira Yamaoka listed only as Musical Consultant. The voice acting all around is stellar, with Tara Strong taking the lead, infusing Juliet with as much sugar, spice and all things nice as someone can manage. Michael Rosenbaum is fantastic as Nick, too.

Ah, the part you've been waiting for. Saving the best for last? Well, maybe. The gameplay is where most of the flaws of Lollipop lie, but this being a Suda game, this was to be expected. Surely. To be honest, this is their best combat system to date, even better than No More Heroes. There's a real sense of growth. When Juliet starts out, she's slow and limited in her attacks. Even basic zombie hordes can really eff you up if you're not careful. However, as more and more combos unlock, you start to really get into the groove, tying together pom-pom and chainsaw attacks in a violent frenzy. Combat is simple. One button for pom-poms, which are fast, weakening attacks. One for high chainsaw, one for low chainsaw. One for dodging/jumping around. Combining these in specific ways unleash combos, some fast and weak, some slow and damaging, others designed for crowd control. These combos can be easily broken, however, whilst most zombies, especially higher level ones, will be mostly unaffected by your attacks until they're dismembered, so the combat becomes about watching your enemies and learning what combo is best used when and where. There's a real arcade sense about the game, not just with the high scores and general arcade theme, but just from the way it encourages growth through skill. The more skillful you are, the more medals you get. The more medals you get, the more upgrades you get. How much upgrades you get is entirely tied to how well you play the game, which gives levelling up a real sense of growth. Gameplay is interrupted from time to time by the obligatory Suda mini-games, which range from mildly amusing to mind-breakingly frustrating to irritatingly dull, as is to be expected. You take to the good with the bad, as the 80s theme tune says. And yes, as I mentioned earlier, it is short. However, you're going to want to play through from the start at least once. Stages unlock as you go along and can be replayed in any order at any difficulty mode, or in the extra hard, score chasing Ranking Mode. All your abilities carry over, and the only way to unlock everything is to not only keep replaying stages, but keep improving your skills to rack up as many medals as you can. It's frightfully addictive, not to mention increasing the difficulty not just increases the zombie health and attack, but introduces new zombie types, new mini bosses, more zombies, or different combinations, and less pickups in more obscure places. Exactly the kind of good difficulty I mentioned in an earlier article.

To sum up, for those who skipped to the bottom: Playing a Suda game requires a few special abilities. The ability to laugh at yourself, the ability to realise you're being trolled most of the time and to go with it, and the ability to not take things seriously. You take this game seriously, even for one moment, and it falls apart. It's not taking itself seriously, not even once, so why should you? If you're a Suda fan, you'll love this, but let's be honest you've already bought it. If you're wondering just what the hell this all is, give it try, you might have fun. For the brain-dead, undersexed, hormone crazed masses - just cause there's tits on the cover and more panty shots than a japenese porno, this is not the game for you. Seriously, go back to CoD. Finally, the Suda haters, this one is not going to change your mind, so it's probably best to give it a miss. That's everyone, right? So now there's only one last thing to do...

Hey, Mickey, you're so fine
You're so fine you blow my mind
Hey Mickey!
Hey Mickey!

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