Star Fox 64

I'm so tempted to just leave this an empty article. Surely the title says enough. Surely we all know this by now. Still, I feel this needs to be said, at least by me.

STAR FOX 64 IS THE GREATEST SPACE SIMULATOR EVER!

I'm serious. Forget Rogue Squadron, forget all the Star Wars games. This is where it's at.

DO A BARREL ROLL!

This game, man, this game...I don't think my child like mind fully comprehended just what the fuck I was experiencing. The graphics, the level design, the characters, those bosses...

I honestly can't think of many games with the sheer depth and replayability that Star Fox 64 had. We didn't even have internet in our house when I had this game. I remember replaying the game for the umpteenth time and suddenly discovering there was a whole other boss on the first level that took you on a whole other path. Fuck Ocarina Of Time, this is where it's at.

DO A BARREL ROLL!

Even today, everything about this game feels right. The controls are sublime, the level design is perfect, the challenge is monstrous but always manageable. The voice acting is brilliant, the dialogue is funny and quotable and the characters are just so memorable. I could literally quote most of this game line for line, not just

DO A BARREL ROLL!

I've got to be honest, I still have never defeated Andross. I just can't do it. He fucks me up. But I happily blaze my trail to him, driven on by an ever burning desire to kick his weird floating head arse

thing

That level seriously freaked me the fuck out as a kid. I mean, you had some weird shit before then; fire levels, underwater levels, Slippy (boom-tish!) but from the moment Fox says 'I'll go this alone', shit just gets fucked up. You dive headfirst into this trippy LSD tunnel, only to be greeted by a giant floating head with enormous hands that proceeds to decimate you in about three seconds. I know now the whole floating head thing is a throwback to older games, but back then my young mind couldn't handle that shit. I had nightmares, horrible, horrible nightmares.

You're becoming more like your father every day.

I love Rogue Squadron, and to be totally honest I find it hard to place this game above it, but I truly believe that not only as a game, but as an experience, Star Fox 64 is unrivaled. Even today, it stands up. Sure, the graphics might be a little funny, but everything else is still unparalleled. Not to mention they just remade it for 3DS, so there is no reason for there to be anyone alive who hasn't played this game. Now if you'll excuse me I have to

go make dinner.